In January 2019, I facilitated a series of race workshops. I had read and dissected a variety of sources on the issues surrounding white supremacy and racial equity and felt emboldened to pursue this work. I collaborated with colleagues in the pursuit of equity to thoughtfully design a three-day series to investigate our own experience with race and how that translates into the classroom for our students. As I started working with adults on this, however, I didn’t realize how open and vulnerable it would make me. On the second day of the series, I left work feeling broken. Our feedback was overwhelmingly positive but the negative remarks enveloped me. I questioned my place in this work and my professional community. Luckily, that evening, I had tickets to hear Bryan Stevenson of the Equal Justice Initiative speak at UCSD. What followed was nothing less than a therapeutic reinvigoration that gave me a path to show up as the highest version of myself. Stevenson put forth four calls to action: 1. Get proximate 2. Change and challenge narratives 3. Stay hopeful and 4. Do uncomfortable things. I realized how Stevenson’s work, and the work of others like him, provided me with a north star for my leadership philosophy: justice. Furthermore, as Dr. Cornel West says, “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.” For me, love must be the foundation from which I approach my students and colleagues. Love means that I serve people from a place of understanding, care, and a willingness to grow. Love is not always easy but it provides a core of deep connection and an authentic desire to move forward towards what is right. My newfound understanding of my leadership’s true north (justice and love) is also undergirded by three additional philosophies: representation, relationships, and courage.
Representation
Leadership is moot if people do not see themselves authentically and positively represented. In a school setting, this means that students need to see themselves in their teachers and curriculum. Teachers also need to see themselves in their colleagues, leadership, and professional development experiences. I had the opportunity to shadow Dr. Kelsey Jones of CSU San Marcos, and while she was teaching about the history of dis/ability education, she used the common phrase, “Nothing about us without us.” To me, this means that leadership must include shared decision making that is inclusive of all of those involved in the outcome. To quote Dr. West again, “You can't lead the people if you don't love the people. You can't save the people if you don't serve the people.” Without representation, a leader cannot truly serve the people. Representation has been a key aspect of my graduate work and my classroom culture. I hope to continue to cultivate it as a teacher leader.
Relationships
Community is dependent on relationship building. The first call to action from Bryan Stevenson was to get proximate with those that are the most disenfranchised. Proximity builds understanding and trust. As an educational leader, I believe that we must listen to our students and each other, and that each experience is valid, even if different from one another. We must also be near one another and exist in the communities that we are attempting to serve. The better we understand and hear one another, the more positive community we build. One of my greatest mentors, Lillian Hsu, was a “fierce and tireless advocate” of her staff. No matter what, I knew that she had my back and my best interests at heart. Because we had a core relationship of trust and understanding, I had confidence in her as a leader and am equally inspired to be a fierce and tireless advocate for my students and colleagues. Community is a core facet of my classroom. I focus on building relationships with my students at the beginning of the year because that creates the space from which they can find the most academic success. It also allows for me to know how best I can advocate for and push them to be their best selves academically, personally, and professionally.
Courage
Courage is necessary in working toward justice and love in education. An author I admire, Neghar Fonooni, speaks a lot about the importance of messy conversations and their necessity for self-liberation. The world is not oriented or built for love and justice, so it will require all of us to “embrace the messy” as we change and evolve. Growing pains are necessary in this process. I also wholeheartedly believe that Stevenson’s last three calls to action fall under courageousness. He asks of us to change and challenge narratives because, “We are burdened by a history of racial inequality.” We need courage to change and challenge others. Courage to make ourselves vulnerable and courage to believe that our path is a righteous one. Stevenson also directly implored his audience to “do uncomfortable things.” He shared that, “Justice prevails when good people are willing to do uncomfortable things.” While this requires courage, it’s also very empowering to know that every individual has opportunities to help justice prevail by embracing discomfort.
Finally, and this often requires the most courage, Stevenson says to stay hopeful. “Injustice prevails where hopelessness exists. Allow yourself to be broken by complexity and commit to the fight.” I struggle to maintain feelings of hope, but I recognize that great leaders are able to do exactly this. Lillian Hsu had a knack for this when observing teachers. In debriefs, she had the incredible ability to shine a light on my strengths while also gently guiding me toward new and exciting ways in which my classroom practice could grow. She never used the word hope, but hopeful and inspired was exactly how I left her office feeling after those debriefs.
Overall, my leadership is guided by justice and love. I am hopeful that no matter who I commit myself to serving moving forward that these two guiding principles will steer me and those I collaborate with in a positive direction.